“Acceptance is an inner orientation which acknowledges that things are as they are, whether they are the way we want them to be or not, no matter how terrible they may be or seem to be at certain moments.” Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn
Are you squandering your energy on wishing or lamenting?
5 thoughts on “a quote and a question”
While I agree that wishing and lamenting can both be squandersome activities, aren’t at least a little bit of both healthy? Lamenting so we don’t make the same mistakes, and wishing so we have goals and aspirations?
That said, I’ve spent too much of my not-that-long life longing for the next stage. My catch phrase was that I couldn’t wait to see where I’d be in 5 or 10 years. Ever since coming back to school I’ve been trying to enjoy where I’m at more. While I still think about the future (and long for parts of it), I’ve been enjoying where I’m at so much more. I don’t think I’ve wondered (in the same way as before) about 5 years from now in quite some time….
“Everyday Blessings” is a favorite book of mine, it has wisdom not found in other parenting books. I don’t know if that quote was from there or other writings by him.
This year my ‘word of the year’ is content. I was/am working toward not wishing and not pining for what I did not have or own and instead to concentrate on what we do have, using it, appreciating it and living in the moment.
I think I have done a very good job with that this year.
After checking the dictionary definition of lamenting, I am definately not lamenting.
Regarding wishing, I struggle with all that I want to do and limited time to do it. I am struggle to prioritize what I want to do as it all cannot be done in the limited time I have. However I can make my life so what I am able to do can be enjoyed rather than do that thing but feel negatively about what was not yet done.
I am trying to pare down my expectations of ideals with what is actually able to be accomplished.
I also am trying to find a balance between what has to be done and what I want to do. Like trying to keep a decently cleaned house means I can’t knit or make collages or going out and taking photographs which I’d rather be doing instead. There is a balance between the necessary and the purely pleasure seeking activities.
Also on wishing–
I also have come to accept that some large goals I had, I do not have the time to dedicate to doing those things so that they will result in success. That choice also bears in mind that my experience will be positive overall. For example if I chose to write and publish a book, I might be able to pull it off but the changes I’d have to make in my life are not acceptable. I could put my kids in school and use those hours to write and get published. But homeschooling them is more important to me right now. Or I could stay up late at night and deprive myself of sleep to get that or some other thing done but may be unhealhy and not happy in my life despite accomplishing that task. Suddenly writing for publication is not fun if I’m tired and cranky.
So I guess you could say I’m working on wishing less things and focusing on the attainable and trying to be content and happy with the ‘now’ experiences.
Oh, boy. Last week I really was. But I had a good sit-down and talk with myself and we are starting afresh: looking at our blessings and practicing contentment. Also, remaining in the present is always key to me!
I have passed along an award to you, friend. 🙂 Do stop over and pick it up if you like.
Lamenting and wishing?
How about just plain worrying? Ei-yi-yi. love, V
I am sorry to admit: yes. Thanks for asking the question. Notes to self: Return to the moment. Breathe. Be grateful. Begin again. Look outward. Think from abundance not scarcity. Pause. Take a breath. Set intentions. Detach a bit more from outcomes.