Out of the house

Usually I walk Rainer to work then turn right around and walk home. Today I stayed to work because there are approximately 17 things I could have chosen to work on, but I needed to focus on my three MITs. (Most Important Things. I declare three per week and it has helped so, so, so much in getting the priorities done!)
First I did a little writing in the library. Nothing like a huge, rounded window in front of you to keep stodgy thoughts away. 

Then Rainer’s bullet journal took my bullet journal out for coffee. 
Seriously, we need to find a place that sells different cover options for our  Moleskines!  We use the ones with grid lines.


Red door

Red door found in an alley. Possible photo shoot location? 

I took myself to a cafe to work on a draft of a hand warmers pattern for test knitting. On the way home it rained a bit, and my white and black umbrella seemed to set off everything and help me see with new eyes. 

surprisingly, a Word of the Year

I haven’t set out to choose a word for 2015, but suddenly there is one. I didn’t choose it. It seemed to choose itself, rising again and again to the top of my thoughts.

At the beginning of the year if I had chosen a word it might have been ‘recovery’, as I floundered around in the grips of that horrible burn out/depression. I was on a healing journey, trying to bring back my energy and the pieces of myself I felt that I’d given away. I’d given of myself and my time to so many organizations and people that it was like a weary treasure hunt, trying to bring all those bits of me back and nourish them.
Now, as I feel fairly confident that I’m no longer in mental and emotional debt, there is a word. It comes to my mind almost daily. Gracious. Not grace, which I associate with physical expression of beauty in movement. Gracious: characterized by kindness and courtesy. I want a gracious life, a kind life, a gracefully and graciously charming life.

It’s a word that makes me breathe all the way down to the bottom of my lungs.

I want a few ordered and treasured possessions that are clean and tidy. I want to feel that I have enough time in every day for the things that will be done. I don’t want to cram tasks into my day. I don’t want to ‘hustle’. In fact, I am probably in fact trying to put myself on a No Hustle Plan. I think I’ve spent all my time hustling since I was 26: 40 pounds too heavy, surrounded in mess, and trying to keep up with young kids. I had a breakthrough that year and realized I would fire anyone who tried to run my life like that, and I’ve spent 15 years trying to remake myself into someone I would admire. But I have hustled partly out of fear that I’m lazy.

This second half of 2015 is about breathing room even within striving to make things better. I want a feeling of openness in the time I have, the space I occupy, a feeling that keeps surfacing with that word: gracious.  

There is a line in Princess Diaries (of all places) that also keeps surfacing in my thoughts: “A queen never rushes, she hastens.” This makes me smile, but it also hints at an important element I’m seeking. I don’t want to be a human whirlwind, dazzling and powerful but rushed and flinging things out the edges. I want to be a river – powerful but unrushed, moving forward with patience and always reaching my destination.

Questions still to be answered:

Within the concept of ‘striving’, is there an inherent poison? How can I find a way to challenge myself without judgement? To improve and change is woven right into my personality, but how to do it without a criticism of ‘Sarah now’?

Unbound sweater

I’ve held off on knitting a boxy, oversized sweater, worried that it was an awful lot of knitting for a style I might not love. But this version, with a V-neck and split hem, inspired me. 

It’s a great sweater, and an incredible yarn. 

Pattern: Unbound 

Yarn: Alegria

Soft spot

Another moment of quiet on the deck, my Dream Chair proving to be a heavenly temptation away from the others in the family. I’m knitting and listening to the second Locke Lampra book. Stillness and restfullness on the outside, heists and lies and danger in my mind. 


I’m not sure why, but with the whole house to myself I’m working on the floor tucked between the sofa and the coffee table. I feel cat-like or dog-like in my desire for a little safe spot to call my own.