So, this sabbatical thing, how’s it going? It’s been mid-December since I took any real interest in homeschooling in an attempt to dig myself out of this mire of burnout and possible depression. Two months. But two mother months, which is to say the number of days in which I truly asked ‘What will bring me joy today?’ has been lower than I’d have liked.
I am currently in a place I’m calling the danger zone. I’ve been able to put enough back into myself that I can see getting back to a full set of responsibilities. Yet there is a feeling that this is optimistic, like the pond that has frozen but the ice is still too thin for skating, or like the laptop battery that won’t last though the writing session at a coffee shop.
Life has taken over. I’ve got stuff to do. I’m busy with a lot of non-negotiable things. I’m just not homeschooling. I’m also not really on sabbatical.
So it’s the danger zone. I could start, but probably shouldn’t. I could pull back, but probably can’t. I feel like I’ve already taken too much time (been self-indulgent, neglected my son in particular… the whispers are there). Yet I know I haven’t taken enough time.
The pond looks good. Wondering if I should pull on my skates. Wondering if I’ll crash through or make it across.