One of the things about running a homeschooling support group is the odd thing that happens when I need support: I don’t ask for it. I do, a little bit, but it’s funny how as soon as I enter a leadership role how efficiently I segregate my needs from meeting the needs of others. I find it hard to be the one with questions and doubts. I see that people need me to be honest about my struggles, absolutely. But years of leading La Leche League meetings and Weight Watchers has drilled into me the concept that I am there for them; they are not there for me.
It isn’t helpful that there are so very few parents homeschooling teens around here. My peer group is tiny. I hardly ever see them, and when I do I’m busy managing the needs of the various people around me.
I would love to have someone ahead of my in this journey who also knows my kids. I can’t always feel reassured when someone online tells me I’m doing fine by my kids. That we’re ok. What if we’re not? I wonder. What if I’m just really good at laying out my case in words?
Right now a small committee of us is setting up the very first local homeschooling conference. It is inevitable that we will see none of the sessions we really would love to see. It is inevitable that we will give and give, because the need is there.
Giving is incredible, and it’s a thrill that leads me to be the kind of person who provides support in nearly every aspect of community life I am involved in. I’d love to have someone to talk to about spelling, though. And the conflict between my son’s personality and my plans. Someone I could be really honest with when I am confronting my weaknesses as a homeschooling mama.