Throw me a Party

As a mom, as a homeschooling mom, I’m in charge of everything, as it were. I throw the parties. I have the ideas. I make things happen. It’s not ideal, and Rainer and I talk about it, but the reality is that we’re all given 24 hours in the day and in a family people need to specialize for a full life to be efficiently managed.

Once in a while it catches up with me. I’m tired of making things fun for others. I’m tired of making things fun for me. During these times I laughingly (but with a melancholy undertone) say, “I don’t wanna BE the mom, I wanna HAVE a mom!”

I’m wondering if it’s partly due to the fact that we are so home-focused. We’re homeschoolers and we’re introverted. For the vast majority of time we are happy together. But I crave unpredictability of social interaction sometimes: people laughing at unexpected moments in a familiar story; people with different herbs in their spaghetti sauce.

I also need to feel like someone else is charging my battery. Mothering is a lot about managing people’s batteries. Are they getting enough sleep? Are they cranky because they’re hungry? Do we need to get out of the house? How many activities in a week are enough/too many? And so on. And then I crave – all of a sudden like a rogue wave just pounding a ship from the side – I wantwantwant someone to charge my battery. It’s almost always when Rainer’s stretched equally thin.

So, life, I want you to throw me a party. Give my life some sparkle. Make me laugh at unexpected stories. Give the food a new flavour. Let me feel like someone is tending to my needs and my desires. Let me be a passenger while someone else drives.

And on that note, I realize I need to go see to the laundry, lol.


4 thoughts on “Throw me a Party

  1. Rain says:

    I often wonder how long I will last without a recharge. I suppose as long as I need to…so another 11-13 years (or until my DS heads out on his own). But, if life DOES throw you a party (and it certainly should), could you send it my way … unless its batteries are dead by then ;-).

  2. Heather Greenwood says:

    I think all of us homeschooling parents would agree that we too get so wrapped up in our kids’ lives that our own dreams/wishes/desires and relaxation time sometime get put on the backburner. I tell myself (and my daughters), have a perspective on life. It’s a give and take, yin and yang, balance, balance, balance.

    “The ordinary acts we practice everyday at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.” Thomas Moore

  3. trudi says:

    I have read your blog silently for ages and love it! Thank you for writing it. A lovely thing has just happened to our family. We’ve had 2 students living with us for a month, sharing our space with all their different quirks and habits. We all really enjoyed it. But then they went home again. And wow, we’ve got our space back! It’s the same space, with all the same things in it, and the same people, but it is somehow energised and different, just because we haven’t seen it in the usual way for a while. I have found it really interesting that somehow this party was always in there, I was just too tired to find it! Hope you have found yours by now.

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