I almost cancelled

I’m struggling with September this year.  Usually I feel like I don’t just hit the ground running, I’m flying and forget the ground!  Instead this year I feel as though the work I put in building the Manitoba unit study, the soccer coaching, and the rest of it all has left me with no downtime over the summer months.  I’m not flying, I’m dragging.  Despite my worries, this first week of homeschooling went well, even without the usual ‘new, shiny, back-to-school wave of awesome’ that we can surf into the school year.  That’s promising. If we can be productive even if we’re not on fire, that bodes well for the rest of the year.

This weekend, I almost cancelled my plans.  It was the final two games of Sandra’s soccer season, and we  had arranged to spend time with my sister.  We’d play our home game on Saturday, then head to Winnipeg for a sleepover.  On Sunday we’d drive north – where Sheeples was taking part in Manitoba’s Open Farm Day – picnic, and then drive back to the city for her last game of the season.  A girls’ day.  An adventure.

I was feeling like I hadn’t had 2 hours of downtime in weeks.  Even my running felt like a chore rather than a celebration.  The thought of driving that much, of spending the night in someone else’s space, of the time in the wind…all of it, was staring me down and intimidating me.  I thought about cancelling.

Happily the idea of a day of adventure with my sister and my daughter won out.  It was a little draining, but we don’t run on energy alone.  We run on stories.  Now I have a story to tell myself about choosing community and adventure, about fall days and scudding clouds, about yellow poplars and green hay, about sheep and wool, about life.

looking in while we look out


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