Sometimes it’s hard to homeschool. Sometimes you wonder why you’ve chosen a life that’s about getting other people to jump through hoops rather than having the satisfaction of jumping through your own hoops. Sometimes being the boss of everyone (as it sometimes feels) is just a weight dragging at you.
Sometimes it’s hard to mother. Sometimes you wonder why he’s yelling at you. Sometimes you wonder why you hear, “Just a minute,” four hundred and nineteen times per day. Sometimes you wish they knew how good they have it and would be grateful. Sometimes you wonder what it would be like to be a Taoist monk pondering the essential flow of the universe rather than convincing someone to brush their teeth/do physio/wipe the table/turn off the TV.
Sometimes it’s hard to be. Sometimes you make lists in your head and your body can’t keep up. Sometimes you wish you had a thousand wishes. Sometimes you wish you were young again and believed in a thousand wishes. Sometimes you just think about other times.
Sometimes you wish someone had a solution. You wish you had a solution. Sometimes you wish you knew which problem needed attention. Chickens and eggs dance in your mind and neither wants to take the lead, they just circle round.
Sometimes. This time. But not all times.